If a classic Viennese coffeehouse and a contemporary cafe had an offspring, it would look like Café Schopenhauer. High ceilings, oversized windows, marble-topped tables, creaking floors, yes, but also a sleek concrete counter, casually dressed waiters, a menu of updated classics, and tables laid out with trending books for sale. A fashionable crowd, mainly Millennials, flocks here from the neighborhood, which is near Währing in the well-heeled District 18. Why Schopenhauer? The reason is disappointingly prosaic: the cafe is located right by Schopenhauerstraße.

To remain unbiased, I visit all places incognito and pay for my own meals and drinks. I never accept money in exchange for coverage. But this means I must rely on readers to support my work. If you're enjoying this article, please consider making a one-time payment (PayPal, Venmo) or becoming an Offbeat Patron.